While it is stated by some people that both genders have the same rights, and females can secure all the jobs, others believe there are some crucial differences between them, which do not let women have some occupations. I partially agree with the first statement to some extent.

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Women's body structure is different from men's, but

this

Linking Words

does not mean that one of them is more valuable.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

as a result

Linking Words

, sex is not related to people's abilities. Because their brain's system follows the same module.

For instance

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, Maryam Mirzakhani is a famous scientist in the world, she was able to solve tough math questions as perfectly as Einstein, or even better.

In addition

Linking Words

, we all are humans, no one is not upper than others

due to

Linking Words

the same origin root.

Thus

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, if a boy wants to climb a mountain, a girl too has

this

Linking Words

ability to do it.

Although

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all the careers are available for women and there is no limit to having them, some jobs require a great amount of power, which the boys can do

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

more efficiently because of having stronger muscles.

This

Linking Words

issue comes from some hormones in male corps that make them almost bigger. Doing so, If a woman would like to participate in a mining group, she probably can, but she cannot stand working there for a long time.

To sum up

Linking Words

, all people have almost the same organs and their brain function is not dependent on their genders, so, both can be successful if they want.

However

Linking Words

, some works are entirely breathtaking and are not recommended for girls

due to

Linking Words

their

physic

Correct your spelling

physique

show examples

AjaananWed Feb 26 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider providing a clearer structure in your essay by dividing it into distinct paragraphs for each main idea you discuss. This will help to enhance the logical flow of your arguments.

task achievement

Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your position and outlining the main points that you will address in the essay. This helps the reader understand your perspective right from the beginning.

coherence and cohesion

Be cautious with the use of phrases like 'humans', 'no one is not upper than others', as this can lead to confusion. It’s important that your language is precise and clear to convey your ideas effectively.

relevant specific examples

You provided a relevant and specific example of Maryam Mirzakhani, which effectively supports your argument about women's capabilities in various fields.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your writing reflects a clear attempt to engage with the topic, indicating that you understand the nuances of the argument surrounding gender roles and job availability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

224 words

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While it is stated by some people that both genders have the same rights, and females can secure all the jobs, others believe there are some crucial differences between them, which do not let women have some occupations. I partially agree with the first statement to some extent.

Fully explain your ideas

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A lot of money is spent repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing these buildings, they should be knocked down and replaced with new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderlies are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solution.

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positives or negative situation?