IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand people think that getting experince and developing soft skills is more important. Disscuss both view and give your opinion

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think the best way to get
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 is
graduating
Change preposition
by graduating
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 from a
university
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
, it is believed
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 some individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
being experienced and developing soft skills. In my opinion, getting a degree from
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 is the best way to
geta
Correct your spelling
get a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 It can help individuals to be skilful and
also
Linking Words
 provides them with
job
Use synonyms
 security.
According to
Linking Words
 many
individuals
Add a comma
individuals,
show examples
 it is easier to get a
job
Use synonyms
 when they have a
university
Use synonyms
 education as it, helps the person to get knowledge and skill in whichever
field
Use synonyms
 they are interested. universities
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 with a proper
curiculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 of studies theoretically and practically. which leads to
people
Use synonyms
 being more skilful and that can help them to get jobs.
For example
Linking Words
,
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wikipedia
Change the capitalization
Wikipedia
show examples
 if a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education his tendency to get a
job
Use synonyms
 increases by 45% .
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 a huge number of
university
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also
Linking Words
 provides you with a chance to get placement.
However
Linking Words
, There is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
very famous quote “ Experience is the best teacher”. There are many things that
people
Use synonyms
 can only understand or learn by working in the
field
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, Until
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 cryptocurrency trader starts trading he can’t learn about how to manage the funds and losses by looking at other
people
Use synonyms
 trading or the courses available that teach about cryptocurrency trading. In my opinion,
university
Use synonyms
 studies are the best method to get jobs as it helps to gain the required knowledge for the
field
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 the opportunity to get a placement in your
field
Use synonyms
 of interest.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a specific point, and link your ideas more smoothly to improve overall flow.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your main points, which will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, demonstrating personal insight.
task achievement
The use of quotes adds depth to the argument and shows engagement with the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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