IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Letter topic. You recently noticed a alocal restaurant that offering part-time job Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, -Explain yhat you would like to apply for the job -give some details of any relavent experince that you have -specify the days and times yhat would suit you

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The reason why
i
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 am writing
this
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 letter is that,
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 want to express my interest in your job advertisement for
an a
Choose an article
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 chef,which
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 saw
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on this
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 news on the Darakchi. Recently,
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 moved to Tashkent from Navoi. I was considered a chef in a famous restaurant.
For
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this
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 reason,
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 want to stay in that workplace. When
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 was in the Navoi, My
work
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 did not run as before.
That is
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 why,
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 decided , to move to the busy downtown in Uzbekistan. When it comes to my relevant experience,
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 have been working since
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 was 20 years old. If
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 cook meals in the home where visit my relatives, they eat meals which
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 cook
instead
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 of they were talking to us. I have worked in
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of cafes and restaurants. I never
work
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 foodcourts. If
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work
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 in your restaurant, you should give me holidays and incentives like other employees.
Then
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,
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 should be hospitalised for a period of 30 days to receive my annual treatment every year. If you hire me to
work
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,
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 am sure,
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 will increase your restaurant's productivity. I hope
,
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apply
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 you will look at
this
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 letter and reply to it fast. Yours sincerely Humoyunbek Olimov

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs. This will improve the readability of your letter.
task achievement
Try to maintain a formal tone throughout the letter, avoiding casual phrases.
task achievement
Clarify your specific experience and how it directly relates to the job you're applying for.
positive
You’ve shown enthusiasm for the position and provided details about your work experience.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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