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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pictures depict the evolution of the horse during the 40 million years.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are 4 main stages of the development of both horse's shape and hoof, starting with
Eohippus
Correct article usage
the Eohippus

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 type, and
finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 becoming the normal animal in the present day.
Initially
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the creature namely Eohippus, which lived approximately 40,000,000 years ago, used to possess a small body with some spots on its skin. The legs of it differed noticeably as well by having fingers on them. The following phase illustrates the artificially-made picture of Mesohippus, which
inhabites
Correct your spelling
inhabited
inhabits
inhibits

If you don’t want inhabites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

300,000 centuries ago. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Even though. Consider removing the comma.

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 it did not vary significantly, the physical appearance experienced a change by increasing in height and size
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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 and decreasing in the number of toes. Merychippus,
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, acquired a more or less similar external structure to the modern one. 15,000,000 years ago, the development was noticeable in a higher physique and hoof-like legs.
Last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after many phases of prehistoric times, we can ride a modern horse with well-adapted hooves for running and endurance now.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • prehistoric
  • size progression
  • hoof development
  • toes transformation
  • limb elongation
  • species adaptation
  • significant change
  • comparative size
  • distinct differences
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