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Writing Samples
Band 4

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
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The data
demostrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 the proportion of Australian
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 with four other nations between 1990 and 2012.
overall
Linking Words
, the trade internationally for
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 has increased dramatically over the
years
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
on
Capitalize word
On
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 the other hand transport to
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
drastically
 decline between 1990 and 1995.The graph of
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 has growth and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 has declination from approximately 2005 to 2010. The main thing is that the
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
 trade of
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 almost at botton
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
years
Use synonyms
 1990 to 2000
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
saw a gradual increase from 2000 to 2012 and never fell back.when we talk about India it
ia
Correct your spelling
is
also
Linking Words
 mostly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 but the thing is it didn't
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 any dramatical improvement over the
years
Use synonyms
 it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 at
bottom
Add an article
the bottom
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 till 2000 and
then
Linking Words
 saw a relatively stable rose in export
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2000 to 2010 and the difference with
china
Use synonyms
 is it fell back again.
Although
Linking Words
, japan
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 position
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 transport internationally in the
begginning
Correct your spelling
beginning
 as the
years
Use synonyms
 passed the transport rate
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined from 1990 to 1995 and
relatively
Add a missing verb
was relatively
show examples
 stable in
declination
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 from 1995 to 2012.
however
Linking Words
, in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with all US has high fluctuations
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between approximately 12% to 6%.It is never at
bottom
Add an article
the bottom
show examples
 nor at
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
. it maintained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 with a difference of 5%-6%. To sum it up, the
exports
Change the noun form
export
show examples
 percentage from
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 has increased over
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with Japan which
initially
Linking Words
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 high and faced declination.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
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