Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on peoples' behaviour. What is your opinion?

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It is argued that violence in

television

Use synonyms

and

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

can generate a detrimental effect on people, whilst

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

disagree with the notion. In my opinion, it does have an impact on the public. In

this

Linking Words

era, a vast majority of

individuals

Use synonyms

depend on

television

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

to gather and share information.

However

Linking Words

, they are not only used for sharing information but

also

Linking Words

to help humans relax their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and bodies through music, movies, games etc. If

a soothing music

Remove the article

soothing music

a piece of soothing music

show examples

can calm down

human

Correct article usage

the human

show examples

brain,

similarly

Linking Words

a violent movie can arouse anger in

individuals

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, a movie named 'Marco' in India provided inspiration for

youngester

Correct your spelling

youngsters

youngster

to join gangster groups. Youth became attracted to the life of

goon

Correct article usage

a goon

show examples

leader

potrayed

Correct your spelling

portrayed

in the movie and attempted to live a similar life. Violent

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

displayed on

television

Use synonyms

and computers can affect

Use synonyms

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

mental health. Excessive exposure to violent movies or games will alter human behaviour to

Correct article usage

a narcisstic

show examples

narcisstic

Correct your spelling

narcissistic

and animalistic nature.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, violent

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

through

television

Use synonyms

and computer games can generate hatred and other inappropriate emotions in humans, thereby creating less productive and

inefficent

Correct your spelling

inefficient

efficient

human beings.

This

Linking Words

inturn

Correct your spelling

in turn

show examples

creates differences between

individuals

Use synonyms

and families,

thus

Linking Words

affects

Wrong verb form

affecting

show examples

the development of a society. To

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

function properly, a community needs

individuals

Use synonyms

who are highly capable and efficient.

Lack

Correct article usage

A lack

show examples

of successful communities leads to a failed

governement

Correct your spelling

government

and a failed nation.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I strongly government suggest that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should implement policies to regulate the exhibition of violent

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

more over

Correct your spelling

moreover

show examples

each and every citizen is responsible

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

their actions.

sachin.jose0206Tue Mar 04 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your thesis statement in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences to enhance the logical flow of your arguments.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to further support your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

In conclusion, summarize your key arguments clearly and restate your opinion in a stronger way.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical errors and word choice to enhance clarity.

task achievement

The inclusion of relevant examples such as the movie 'Marco' demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You convey a clear opinion throughout the essay, which is an important requirement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on peoples' behaviour. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Newspapers have influenced people's ideas and opinions. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative situation? the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative situation?

The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to the hotel manager to inform you are coming with a group of people to have a business meeting at his hotel. - Introduce yourself and the group. - Tell about the business meeting. - Inform if accommodation is necessary.