IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You are going to spend three months doing work experience in an organization. Write a letter to the manager of the organization where you are going to do work experience. In your letter: •Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience, •Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience, •Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do,

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Dear Sir and Madam, I hope
this
Linking Words
 message finds you well. I am writing to express my heartfelt gratitude for the opportunity to undertake my work experience at your esteemed organization over the next three months.
This
Linking Words
 opportunity is invaluable to me, and I believe it will serve as a significant stepping stone in my professional journey. During my time with your team, I am eager to develop a diverse range of management skills that will deepen my expertise in
this
Linking Words
 field. I am particularly enthusiastic about contributing to projects related to healthcare services, as I believe my background aligns well with these initiatives.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I would appreciate some clarification regarding a few logistical details. Will I need to bring my own notebook, or will a company notebook be provided?
Furthermore
Linking Words
, could you please share the details of my working schedule? Thank you for your attention to these questions. I look forward to your response and am excited about the opportunity to join your team. Yours faithfully, Emily Choi

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coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking down the second paragraph into two separate points to enhance clarity. One point can focus on your eagerness to learn management skills, and the other can elaborate on your interest in healthcare services.
task achievement
Ensure that the greeting uses 'Dear Sir or Madam' to maintain formal address, as it is more commonly used in business correspondence.
task achievement
The letter effectively expresses gratitude and excitement, which adds a positive tone to the correspondence.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the letter is clear, with distinct sections addressing gratitude, aspirations, and questions, making it easy to follow.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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