IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities for employees.Others consider that a person's health is their own responsibility, not a company's problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is believed that workers should be granted the
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to make use of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 that have been made
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 by the company,
while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 it's thought that employees must make use of their own free time and cost. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 the financial
implecations
Correct your spelling
implications
 and the productivity will
supports
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support
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 that the personal well-being of workers should not be on the shoulders of
company's
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companies
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
company's
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companies
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 spend a large sum of income
of
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on
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 the
salary's
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salaries
salary
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 of employees. Providing access to any sort of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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facility's
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facility
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,
such
Linking Words
 as a gym or
staduim
Correct your spelling
stadium
, will cost the
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 thousands of money
on
Change preposition
in
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 order to
accomadate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 everyone.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses both views clearly, and discuss each argument in separate paragraphs to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract the reader. For instance, 'oppurtunity' should be 'opportunity' and 'cost' should be 'costly'.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your position, which can increase the score for relevance and clarity. For example, consider citing studies linking health benefits of exercise to workplace productivity.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic and states a clear opinion, which is essential for structuring a persuasive argument.
coherence and cohesion
The intention to provide reasons for your opinion is clear, which is a good practice in argumentative writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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