Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some
students
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argue that to learn about other
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
and main classes.
In contrast
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,some
students
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believe that it is vital to give all
time
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and focus to
education
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for a field of study.
This
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essay will analyze and compare both perspectives.
To begin
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with,
students
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often believe that learning different
subjects
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helps broaden their worldview. In the past, it was essential for individuals to study a wide range of
subjects
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,
such
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as history, philosophy, literature, and mathematics.
This
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well-rounded
education
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enabled people to understand complex ideas and express their thoughts more clearly.
For example
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, ancient scholars, like Aristotle, were not only experts in philosophy but
also
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made significant contributions to science, politics, and ethics, demonstrating the value of a multidisciplinary approach.
In contrast
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, today, the tradition of studying philosophy is primarily reserved for major universities and specific professions,
although
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its impact is still evident in various fields. On the
othe
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other
hand,it takes more
time
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and sometimes money to study optional
subjects
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than studying only the main program.
Additonally
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Additionally
,most
students
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learned
such
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themes in their previous
education
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as well.
For example
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, In
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the
a
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middle school of the Amerika
students
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should choose
this
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practice as less useful than focusing only on topics concerning their chosen profession, especially in case
then
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students
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have to pay for it. In conclusion, extending the main
education
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program
by
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with
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optional
subjects
Use synonyms
allows
students
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to improve their soft skills, but at the same
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time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
it requires more
time
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and financial spending. In my opinion, the academic syllabus should be flexible enough so that it can allow each student to choose or give up additional
subjects
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the essay's intent and includes a more defined thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical consistency and clarity of expression, particularly in sentence structure and punctuation.
Task Achievement
Make sure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument, providing a more balanced discussion of both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be improved for a smoother flow and better connections between concepts.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a thoughtful discussion of both perspectives, which is a positive aspect of the task response.
Task Achievement
The use of historical examples, such as Aristotle, adds depth to the argument about the benefits of a well-rounded education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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