IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear _______,

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Dear
khushi
Change the capitalization
Khushi
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, I hope you are doing good.I am very excited to give you
a
Correct determiner usage
some
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 news and I am sure you are going to be on cloud nine when you read
this
Linking Words
.I decided to move to Mumbai for my higher studies.I opt for chemical laboratory technician.As you know me well and are aware of my passion
with
Change preposition
for
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 chemistry.I always wanted to be a laboratory technician.I feel like
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 is made specifically for me.I
manage
Wrong verb form
managed
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 to
take
Verb problem
be
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admission
Replace the word
admitted
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in
Change preposition
to
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an
Change the article
a
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 university which is
as
Change preposition
within
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 walking distance from your place.I was wondering if you could help me
finding
Wrong verb form
find
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 a
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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job
Use synonyms
 as you know my current financial situation. I am fully dependent on my parents
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everything. I wanted to do
part time
Correct your spelling
a part-time
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job
Use synonyms
 to help them with some of the bills and university fees.I decided to pay the whole
fees
Fix the agreement mistake
fee
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 all by myself.For
this
Linking Words
, I need
you
Change the pronoun
your
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 help.If you can help me land a decent paying
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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job
Use synonyms
, it can relieve some burden.I will forever be grateful to you.The university is close to your house so it will be easier for you to connect with some of the employees and help me with the
job
Use synonyms
searching
Replace the word
search
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.I am waiting for your response Yours truly Xyz

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coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking your ideas into clearer paragraphs to improve readability. For instance, you might separate your study plans, reasons for wanting a job, and requests for help into distinct sections.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing. This can also help to convey your enthusiasm more effectively.
task response
You might want to specify what kind of part-time jobs you are looking for, as this could give your friend a clearer direction in helping you.
task achievement
Your enthusiasm about moving to Mumbai and starting your studies is well expressed, making the letter engaging to read.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is friendly and warm, which is appropriate for writing to a friend.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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