IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

remote work benefits employees more than employers, do you agree or disagree?

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It
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In
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recently
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recent
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 years, the topic of
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 from
home
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 has become a a common practice in
this
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 modern era, whilst few masses opine it
has
Verb problem
is
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 harmful
on
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apply
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it seems to me that flexible working can have a positive impact not only for the employer but
also
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for
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apply
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the
company
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. In
this
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 essay, I would like to shed light on both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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along with
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 my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the people should recognize that
conserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
conserves
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 workers’
time
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 and money. A very important point to consider
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 working from anywhere, whether it’s
home
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, a coffee shop, or a co-working space, is beneficial to
employees
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 in terms of saving money and
time
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.
Employees
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 can get
work
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 done faster, which frees up more
time
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 to do other things like take care of their families and even multitask.
This
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 is especially true for those who commute more than an hour. To illustrate
this
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piont
Correct your spelling
point
 I would like to mention that working remotely is a great way to save on rent, avoid traffic, and avoid gas and parking costs. Another point I would like to make is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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more flexibility
to manage
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in managing
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 schedule and
work
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 environment.
This
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 is
because
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because of
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 the fact that by allowing
employees
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 to
work
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 from
home
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, they help
employees
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 and the entire
company
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 reduce stress in their lives.
This
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 increases job satisfaction and creates a healthy
work
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-life balance.
Furthermore
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, by providing
work
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-from-
home
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 facilities, they can hire more professionals globally at lower salaries. In
this
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 day and age,
besides
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 the positive aspects, there are many limitations.
The
Correct article usage
First
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first,
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the
company
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 lost control of its
employees
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. Unable to monitor
work
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 progress and performance if there are errors in the
work
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 process, the
company
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 cannot manage the way
employees
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work
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. A case in
piont
Correct your spelling
point
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
may not be able to rectify any staff-related problems. The second bad effect is encountering communication and collaboration difficulties. Because have to be independent and manage their own
time
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.
This
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 can be quite challenging if there is a lack of focus. Lack of pressure and supervision can lead to procrastination and decreased productivity. In short, working from
home
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 has many positive aspects that bring many benefits to both
employees
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 and employers because it increases productivity for businesses and saves money, reducing bone and joint diseases.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your arguments and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs; ensure that each point transitions smoothly to the next.
language
Enhance the variety of your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and less repetitive.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective on the topic.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples to illustrate your points, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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