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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a particular country from 1978 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a particular country from 1978 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart displays the percentage of four categories of cinema visitors in one country over the period of 1978 to 2008
overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from 14 to 49
shwoes
Correct your spelling
shows
shoes
 decrease in
figers
Correct your spelling
fingers
.
people
Use synonyms
 aged 50 and over illustrate
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 throughout the period. in 1978,
people
Use synonyms
how are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
between 14 and 24 years old visited the screens
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
90% before
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to sharply
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
 under 80% in 1988 before
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 back to 90% and still
study
Wrong verb form
studied
show examples
 through 1988 and 2003 before
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 went
dawn
Correct your spelling
down
show examples
 again to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
80%.
people
Use synonyms
 who are aged above 50
start
Change to a plural noun
starts
show examples
 at the least
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the four groups at 40% in 1978 and
deacresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
 in 1988 at 20% before
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 rose back in 1998 to 40 %
stable
Correct word choice
and stable
show examples
 in 2003 before it
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to reach its peak at 50% in 2008.
young
Capitalize word
Young
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, 34-49 and 25-34, have similar behavior. they start in
realtively
Correct your spelling
relatively
 in
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
 numbers, at 80% and 60%
respectivilly
Correct your spelling
respectively
. before they
diclined
Correct your spelling
declined
 in 1988 at 60 for 25-34 and 40% for 35-49.
at
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the same year, they
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to rise and stable their
Correct your spelling
figures
figuers
Correct your spelling
figures
 for five years at 70% and 60.
after
Capitalize word
After
show examples
 2003 they decreased
Correct your spelling
slightly
slightlly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 to reach 50% for 35-49 and
Correct your spelling
above
aove
Correct your spelling
over
 60% for 25-34

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • age group
  • cinema visitors
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • notable
  • decline
  • comparison
  • decade
  • growth
  • overall
  • particular
  • briefly
  • highlight
  • analyze
  • significant
  • similarities
  • implications
  • stakeholders
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