IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Recently, the debate whether
science
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's main objective is enhancing human
lives
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 is under discussion. Some individuals believe that
science
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 is a tool that humans rely on in order to improve their quality of life,
whereas
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 I certainly disagree and I think that
science
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 is a holy source for understanding nature, and the
creature
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creatures
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 of the universe. The universe has many interesting aspects and learning about its fundamentals is vital for all human beings around the world. To illustrate, the fact that Earth moves in a circular motion around the sun has led so many people to believe in the creature
due to
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 the complexity of
this
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.
For instance
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, some people used to worship other things , but after reading and studying
about
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apply
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scientific explanations, they started to believe in the idea of god. Another reason is that
science
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 can lead to the development of harmful inventions which are made for the improvement of human communities, but at the same time cause detrimental impacts on other creatures including animals, plants, and even humans.
For example
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, manufacturing different kinds of devices causes more CO2 production which eventually increases the risk of global warming.
Thus
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, I disagree that
science
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's significant goal is improving only human
lives
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, other creatures'
lives
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 should
also
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 be prioritized as well.
To conclude
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, it is argued that
science
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's priority is enhancing the
lives
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 of people;
however
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, I disagree with
this
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 statement for many reasons. One reason is
holiness
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the holiness
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 of
science
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 must be a crucial objective, and the other one is the harm that
science
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 might when its main goal is people-oriented.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage for the essay but could be clearer in defining your stance. Consider stating your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of ideas could be improved by using linking words to connect your points more smoothly, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is clearly stated, developed, and linked back to your main argument. This will help strengthen your essay overall.
task achievement
You provide interesting examples of science's impact on society which enhances the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the topic, which is important in academic writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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