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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparson

Some people The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparson
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The pie chart provides us
information
Change preposition
with information
show examples
 about the percentage of UK people who
Add a missing verb
are expert
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expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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 in many
languages
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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of
Change preposition
apply
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2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
took
Verb problem
was
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 the biggest
Use synonyms
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
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in
Change preposition
among
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england
Change the capitalization
England
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. Turning
into
Change preposition
to
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first chart,in 2000,
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 only experienced the top position
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 30%,
Linking Words
then following
Wrong verb form
followed
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bye
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 no other
languages
Use synonyms
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 20%.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
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languages
Use synonyms
 and
french
Capitalize word
French
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 only were the same hold at 15% . Both
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 other
languages
Use synonyms
 and
german
Capitalize word
German
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only
Rephrase
apply
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were the lowest part only 10%. taking a closer look at the second pie , in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010,
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 became go up from 2000 to 2010 about 5 %, now reached 35% which is the highest
skills
Fix the agreement mistake
skill
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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used by
british
Change the capitalization
British
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
,
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the second highest accounted 20% . And
finally
Linking Words
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 were four
languages
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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on the same
proprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
, two other
languanges
Correct your spelling
languages
,
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
 only, french only, no other
languages
Use synonyms
stick
Wrong verb form
stuck
show examples
 only at 10%
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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