IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graphs depict the information regarding the
population
Use synonyms
 of China from the
year
Use synonyms
 1960,
along-with
Correct your spelling
along with
show examples
 predictions
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2050. The units of measurement are
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
graph
Add an article
the graph
show examples
 shows an incline in
Use synonyms
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 above 60 years
whereas
Linking Words
 a significant decline is seen in
people
Use synonyms
aging
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 between 15 to 64 years.
However
Linking Words
, over the years variation is shown in
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of children in
category
Add an article
the category
show examples
 of 0 to 14. It is evident that, in the
year
Use synonyms
 1960, about 38 percent of
people
Use synonyms
 were of age 0 to 14
while
Linking Words
 slightly higher (nearly 46%) was
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
a population
the population
show examples
 of 15 to 64.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 above 65 was approximately 6 per cent.
Thus
Linking Words
, by the
year
Use synonyms
 2010, an increasing trend in
Use synonyms
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of 0 to 14 and 65+ was seen
whereas
Linking Words
 a decreasing trend was seen in the
people
Use synonyms
 of age 15 to 64.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is predicted that by the
year
Use synonyms
 2050,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of 65+
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
will rise to nearly 30% and a decrease among
people
Use synonyms
 of ages 0 to 14 to 17.5%.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, a downfall after a rise is noticed in the
population
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 group 15 to 64.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, year, percentage, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: