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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the literacy rate (% of people who can read and write) by region and gender in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the literacy rate (% of people who can read and write) by region and gender in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates reading and writing proficiency proportions for both males and females in seven distinct regions of the world in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, five places show differences in educated individuals,
while
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 two places remain the same. It was
firstly
Linking Words
 observed that Central Asia had the highest literacy
rate
Use synonyms
, approximately 100% for both genders. The
rate
Use synonyms
 was a bit lower in Central/ Eastern Europe, at nearly 100%. In East Asia/ Pacific, the figure remained close to 100% for men, but a gap started to appear, with the percentage for women decreasing to just over 95%. In other areas
such
Linking Words
 as Latin America/ Caribbean, Arab States,
South
Correct word choice
and South
show examples
 and West Asia, the numbers continued to decline, at roughly 95%, 90%, and 80% for males,
while
Linking Words
 for females, it stood at around 90%, 80% and 60%. The region with the highest illiteracy
rate
Use synonyms
 surveyed was Sub-Saharan Africa, where the number of people being literate was recorded at about 70% for men and 60% for women. In summary, in most areas, men had a higher literacy
rate
Use synonyms
 than women with a variation of 5% to 20%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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