IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney. Australia, in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney. Australia, in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart compares the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 utilized by different sectors in Sydney, Australia in two years: 1997 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the largest share of
water
Use synonyms
 was carried out by
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 in both years and
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 used the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage of one,
while
Linking Words
 other sections saw growths and declines. In 1997,
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 consumed around 48% of
water
Use synonyms
 and was considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the largest one, which was followed by household use
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second place of consumption with 19%.
Service
Correct article usage
The service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing were approximately on the same levels of
water
Use synonyms
 usage reaching together 15%,
whereas
Linking Words
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 was
tripple
Correct your spelling
triple
 of their percentage with 5%. In 2007,
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 followed almost the same pattern as in 1997, just decreasing slightly to 41%,
while
Linking Words
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled in size reaching an outstanding 25%. The consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 in
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
 and building
industry
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped
marginaly
Correct your spelling
marginally
 to 11% and 2%, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the usage of
water
Use synonyms
 in
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 noticeably to 21%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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