Traffic congestion is a growing problem in many major cities. Some people say that the government should be responsible to reduce the use of cars. And the car users also have to use public transportation more. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Traffic
congestion
Use synonyms
is
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
that significantly
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
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cities
Change preposition
of cities
show examples
. The
government
Use synonyms
should be responsible
to reduce
Change preposition
for reducing
show examples
the traffic of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars by encouraging
people
Use synonyms
to use free transportation, that what
people
Use synonyms
claims
Change the verb form
claim
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against the
government
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and I will give my opinion on them. Many
people
Use synonyms
claims
Change the verb form
claim
show examples
that the
government
Use synonyms
are responsible
to deal
Change preposition
for dealing
show examples
with
Use synonyms
congestion
Add an article
the congestion
show examples
of the roads
specially
Rephrase
especially
show examples
Correct article usage
the highroads
show examples
highroads
Correct your spelling
high roads
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that
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
to
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
or
government
Use synonyms
buildings in the rush hours morning and
at the end
Linking Words
of the work hours. These claims
but
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
the whole responsibility on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
shoulders. Definitely,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
has the resources to deal with
this
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issue and their assessment
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
valuable to these problems. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I do not agree with
this
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say.
However
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
should be the responsibility
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
all
parts
Correct your spelling
parties
show examples
that
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
the roads. Other
people
Use synonyms
including me strongly agree that
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
congestion
Use synonyms
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
schedule negatively.
For example
Linking Words
, it would affect the students,
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
,
employees
Correct word choice
and employees
show examples
to be on time.
Also
Linking Words
, In case of urgent
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
the
congestion
Use synonyms
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
the deal with the statutes of the patient if they
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
doctors
Fix the agreement mistake
doctor
show examples
help.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
can help to mitigate
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
different solutions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, traffic
congestion
Use synonyms
is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
of all
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, society and
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to alleviate the impacts of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many solutions proposed by individuals we still see that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
great
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
congestion
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a general overview, but it could be more engaging and clear. Try to state your position explicitly in the introduction to help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
The transition between ideas in your paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure that each idea logically follows the previous one, using linking phrases or words.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, when you present examples, try to elaborate on them a bit more. For instance, explaining how traffic congestion specifically affects students, patients, and employees in more detail could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are grammatically incorrect or awkwardly phrased. For instance, 'Many people claims' should be 'Many people claim'. It's important to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
You have presented both views clearly, which shows an understanding of the topic and demonstrates critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion reiterates the main ideas discussed, providing a clear wrap-up of your opinion, which is crucial for a well-rounded essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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