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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the process by which
bees
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 produce
honey
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 and the
steps
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 involved in commercial
honey
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production
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the natural
honey
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-making process consists of six stages, starting with egg-laying and ending with
bees
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 storing nectar in the
hive
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. The commercial
production
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 of
honey
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 involves five
steps
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, beginning with
honeycomb
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 extraction and ending with packaging and distribution.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
honey
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production
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 by
bees
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 follows six
steps
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.
First,
Linking Words
the female bee lays eggs in the
honeycomb
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, where they remain for three days before hatching into larvae. Over the next seven days, the larvae grow and develop into adult
bees
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. After spending three more weeks in the
hive
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, the fully developed
bees
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 leave to collect nectar from flowers.
Finally
Linking Words
, they return to the
hive
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 and deposit the nectar, which gradually turns into
honey
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. Regarding commercial
honey
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production
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,
this
Linking Words
 process consists of five
steps
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.
First,
Linking Words
beekeepers remove the
honeycomb
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 from the
hive
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.
Then
Linking Words
, a machine extracts the
honey
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 from the
honeycomb
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. After extraction, the
honey
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 is boiled to remove impurities, ensuring cleanliness. Once purified, it is packaged into jars before being distributed and sold in the market. In conclusion,
honey
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-making involves both natural and commercial processes.
While
Linking Words
bees
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 follow a six-stage cycle to produce
honey
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, human
production
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 requires harvesting, extraction, purification, and distribution before it reaches consumers

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "first, ".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bees, honey, steps, production, hive, honeycomb with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foraging
  • nectar
  • proboscis
  • regurgitate
  • worker bees
  • digestion
  • evaporation
  • honeycomb
  • hexagonal wax cells
  • moisture content
  • consistency
  • preserve
  • colony
  • long-term storage
  • food source
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