IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their lives.Others think it is better to work for different organisations.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The new generation of workers
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that change organisations are better
to develop
Change preposition
at developing
show examples
 themselves
including
Change preposition
by including
show examples
 rapidly
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of salary.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people still trust
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
 working in the same place for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time is more
effectiveness
Replace the word
effective
show examples
 in part of
enhancement
Correct article usage
the enhancement
show examples
 way unless, they have significant problems to be moved out
such
Linking Words
 as
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 sickness, watching children, or married life.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are a
lof
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
 of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 from changing organisations
for example
Linking Words
,
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 faster income and position
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 in the same company,
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
 with new office culture and friends, or
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 industry which are the main reasons to decide resignation on currently
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has negative sides from
this
Linking Words
 concept like
overstep
Wrong verb form
overstepping
show examples
throught
Correct your spelling
through
 either money or job position which causes
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
show examples
unprepare
Correct your spelling
unprepared
 both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge and experience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or will
cannot
Remove a modal verb
not
show examples
 find
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 place
due to
Linking Words
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 too often. By the way, those disadvantage results make some people
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 and start to do
this
Linking Words
 organisation longer than before.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 opinion
also
Linking Words
 has positive sides
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance, better relationships with boss,
colleauge
Correct your spelling
colleague
colleagues
, or partner,
deeply
Change the word
deep
show examples
 understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
, or hugely increasing bonus
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year.
Although
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specialist
workers
Fix the agreement mistake
worker
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each type of business
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
, if they
work
Use synonyms
 in another business, they will be suddenly a
new comer
Correct your spelling
newcomer
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 town. In conclusion, both views have different
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 outcome which might extremely impact or lightly affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each body.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, you need to find the most
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
 and suitable way belong you and get the most
effectivenes
Correct your spelling
effectiveness
effective
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of improvement and income.

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task achievement
Ensure that you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and recap it in the conclusion to enhance task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more smoothly, using linking expressions to improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
The essay discusses both perspectives, providing a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
You mentioned specific reasons and examples related to job changes and long-term employment, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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