IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experince and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion (KL)

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There is a view that finishing
university
Use synonyms
 is the most appropriate method to
join
Verb problem
get
show examples
 a good
job
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some people think that possessing
experience
Use synonyms
 and high-level soft abilities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more crucial. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will talk about both views and share my opinion.
To begin
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 with, a
university
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 plays
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 role in our whole career. After students complete
university
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, they will have a certain diploma which confirms their academic lives.
Furthermore
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, fields
such
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 as finance, business administration, marketing, and
this
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 kind of area are able to be
an important indicators
Correct the article-noun agreement
an important indicator
important indicators
show examples
 of students. Many companies require
this
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 type of degree
in
Change preposition
on
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 their vacancy pages.
For example
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, in
Job
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 Search, which is one of the most popular websites in Azerbaijan, there are a lot of vacancies that include a bachelor's degree.
On the other hand
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, apart from
university
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 education, certain skills and
experience
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 are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 examples for individuals. These factors can correct our practical lives in a
job
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 environment. HR is able to ask to do some tests which they must implement
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with our skills.
In addition
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, having enough
experience
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 in specific departments is a positive illustration.
For example
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, KPMG wants to include candidates who have 3 or more years of
experience
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. In
this
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 way, KPMG will be sure that it will have interviewees who have
experience
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 in its groups. In conclusion, getting a successful
job
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 is more achievable if candidates finish
university
Use synonyms
 and have important abilities. From my perspective, a
university
Use synonyms
 period
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
 our knowledge, but
experience
Use synonyms
 and skills are references for our practical competencies.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear logical flow between your points and ideas. This includes using conjunctive adverbs or transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations for your points and examples to enhance clarity. This could involve elaborating on how experience and soft skills specifically benefit employability.
language use
Consider using a wider variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your intention to discuss both sides, which sets a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as those from KPMG, help illustrate your points effectively even if they could be expanded.
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