IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Improvement in health, education, science and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations however the government or richer nations should take responsibility for helping the poor nations. Do you agree or disagree?

Helping poorer
people's
Change noun form
people
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 in health education and science is a good thing
to
Change preposition
for
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development
Correct article usage
the development
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
cummunity
Correct your spelling
community
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 subject. There is no
adoubt
Correct your spelling
doubt
a doubt
 about improving the nation by providing them the basic rights. example, when you provide good education you'll
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 learning people
this
Linking Words
 will improve the
cumminty
Correct your spelling
community
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 health, Engineering,
science
Capitalize word
Science
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 and
envirmnmentaly
Correct your spelling
environment
. I agree for the government to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility for
this
Linking Words
 since it will come back with good
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I would say richer
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 should not take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility but it will be better if they
contirbute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your stance and what you will discuss in the essay. It should also include a clear thesis statement. Consider revising the structure of your arguments to have a logical flow and clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
Make sure to provide concrete examples to support your views. For instance, when you mention education leading to improvements in health and engineering, provide specific details or examples that illustrate this point more vividly.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. For example, 'adoubt' should be 'doubt', 'cumminty' should be 'community', 'creat' should be 'create', 'envirmnmentaly' should be 'environmentally', 'contirbute' should be 'contribute', and 'this' should be 'these issues'. Proper spelling and grammatical accuracy are essential.
task achievement
You presented a relevant opinion on the role of governments and richer nations in aiding poorer nations, which aligns with the task requirements.
task achievement
The mention of education leading to improvements in various sectors shows a good understanding of the broader impacts of education, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • International solidarity
  • Economic disparity
  • Humanitarian assistance
  • Infrastructure development
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Foreign aid
  • Global partnership
  • Post-colonial economic structures
  • Philanthropy
  • Prosperity
  • Capacity building
  • Sustainable development goals (SDGs)
  • Trade imbalances
  • Aid effectiveness
  • Global citizenship
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