Improvement in health, education, science and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations however the government or richer nations should take responsibility for helping the poor nations. Do you agree or disagree?

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Helping poorer
people's
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people

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in health education and science is a good thing
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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development
Correct article usage
the development

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for
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of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
cummunity
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community

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,
In
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apply

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss
about
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apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

subject. There is no
adoubt
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doubt
a doubt

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about improving the nation by providing them the basic rights. example, when you provide good education you'll
creat
Correct your spelling
create

The word creat doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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learning people
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will improve the
cumminty
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community

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from
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in

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health, Engineering,
science
Capitalize word
Science

The word science should be capitalized in this context.

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and
envirmnmentaly
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environment

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. I agree for the government to take
the
Correct article usage
apply

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responsibility for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

since it will come back with good
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits

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,
Linking Words
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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I would say richer
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations

It seems that nation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should not take
the
Correct article usage
apply

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responsibility but it will be better if they
contirbute
Correct your spelling
contribute

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to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your stance and what you will discuss in the essay. It should also include a clear thesis statement. Consider revising the structure of your arguments to have a logical flow and clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
Make sure to provide concrete examples to support your views. For instance, when you mention education leading to improvements in health and engineering, provide specific details or examples that illustrate this point more vividly.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. For example, 'adoubt' should be 'doubt', 'cumminty' should be 'community', 'creat' should be 'create', 'envirmnmentaly' should be 'environmentally', 'contirbute' should be 'contribute', and 'this' should be 'these issues'. Proper spelling and grammatical accuracy are essential.
task achievement
You presented a relevant opinion on the role of governments and richer nations in aiding poorer nations, which aligns with the task requirements.
task achievement
The mention of education leading to improvements in various sectors shows a good understanding of the broader impacts of education, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • International solidarity
  • Economic disparity
  • Humanitarian assistance
  • Infrastructure development
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Foreign aid
  • Global partnership
  • Post-colonial economic structures
  • Philanthropy
  • Prosperity
  • Capacity building
  • Sustainable development goals (SDGs)
  • Trade imbalances
  • Aid effectiveness
  • Global citizenship
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