Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

It is argued that some think that it is mandatory for tourists to respect and behave
as well as
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citizens,
while
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others consider that destination regions should allow individuals who do not live
over
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there to have freedom.
Although
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it will be beneficial for nations to be open to other cultures, visitors should adapt themselves to the
countries
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they visit. On the one hand, as we have different backgrounds and
we
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live different lives, it is challenging for members of society to adjust themselves for every region they stop by because they used to live all their lives in their place with other traditions. Their way of living was earned from their parents since they were children, so they used to follow it for a long time.
For example
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, the United States has the largest numbers in tourism because they offer freedom to people who go there.
However
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, I believe that even if they have a right,
the
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independent tourists should follow the essential rules.  
On the other hand
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, many individuals prefer to travel to specific lands
due to
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their desire to have a chance to see the other customs and traditions. The meaning of
traveling
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travelling
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will be lost if we live and behave the same way
,
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because one of the significant parts of leaving their
countries
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is watching
a
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life from another aspect.
For instance
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, millions of men and women travel to Kyoto in Japan because the city maintains everything from ages.
However
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, I believe that if all
countries
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have the same culture, the meaning of
traveling
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travelling
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will be missed. In conclusion,
although
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countries
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should not be restricted to obligating the rules of
behavior
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behaviour
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and customs
due to
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the various backgrounds of people, I believe that maintaining the culture is important to watching life from the other point of view.

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coherence and cohesion
While the essay presents a clear opinion, it could benefit from clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader. Consider ensuring that each paragraph explicitly relates back to the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are quite lengthy and could be broken down for better readability. Pay attention to sentence structure and aim for variety to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Try to expand further on the implications of respecting local customs and how this influences both tourists and host countries. This would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each example directly supports the point being made in that paragraph. For instance, relating the example of the U.S. more explicitly to the idea of freedom can enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument well and provides a personal opinion, which is crucial for this task.
task achievement
You presented relevant examples to support your points, such as tourism in the U.S. and Kyoto, which adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster mutual understanding
  • reverence
  • cultural clashes
  • peaceful coexistence
  • cultural immersion
  • authentic experience
  • cultural identity
  • enrich
  • pluralistic society
  • cultural exchange
  • tolerance
  • flexibility
  • international relations
  • global understanding
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