IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: what are the changes what are the problems you are facing what part of the service would you like to change

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Dear manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my concern about the Derry
road
Capitalize word
Road
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bus
Use synonyms
 service schedule which has been changed recently. The people are extremely struggling with these modifications including myself. The
bus
Use synonyms
 service 501 which has been running at 5P.
M
Use synonyms
. rescheduled recently to 6
P
Use synonyms
.
M
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, no other public
transport’s
Correct your spelling
transport is
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 available
in
Change preposition
at
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this
Linking Words
 time for travellers.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
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 was the only evening time schedule for
bus
Use synonyms
 services on Derry
road
Capitalize word
Road
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.
Due to
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 these
changes
Add a comma
changes,
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 commuters are really struggling in the harsh weather to catch another
bus
Use synonyms
 after an hour.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are two buses travelling simultaneously on
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 schedule just 10 minutes difference in timing. I would like to request the authorities to at least
changed
Wrong verb form
change
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 the timing of one of the
bus
Use synonyms
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
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 to
in
Change preposition
apply
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between
the
Correct article usage
apply
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5P.
M
Use synonyms
. to 6P.
M
Use synonyms
. So that passengers should save half an hour. I hope
this
Linking Words
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 not
affects
Change the verb form
affect
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 the much in
yours
Correct the word
your
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 changes
and
Correct quantifier usage
much and
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 would
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 the commuters in
small
Change the article
a small
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 way. Yours faithfully, Navdeep

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coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly by having one main idea per paragraph. For instance, separate the description of the changes, problems faced, and your suggestions into different paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to use a more formal tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'people are extremely struggling' could be replaced with 'many commuters are experiencing difficulties.'
grammatical accuracy
Double-check for minor grammatical errors, such as 'I would like to request the authorities to at least changed' should be 'request the authorities to at least change'.
task achievement
You clearly identified the changes in the bus service and expressed your concerns effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a polite greeting and closing, which is very important for formal communication.
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