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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the salt intake of men and women in different age groups in a country in Europe in 2019.

The bar chart below shows the salt intake of men and women in different age groups in a country in Europe in 2019.
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The bar chart provides information about
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 and
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 salt intake in different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
 country in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,the salt intake of men rates showed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 gradual increase in the beginning,but in the
Use synonyms
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it showed a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 decrease.
Linking Words
similarly
Capitalize word
Similarly
show examples
 to the women figure ,in the
Use synonyms
end
Add the comma(s)
end,
show examples
 it declined.
Although
Linking Words
,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period the trend was climbing. The rate of men
whose
Correct your spelling
who were
show examples
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 2-5 was at almost 1500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 .it continued to
increased
Change the verb
increase
show examples
 to be nearly 2500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 for the
groups
Use synonyms
whose
Correct your spelling
who were
show examples
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 between 6-11.after that it rose
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 3500,4500 of the
groups
Use synonyms
 in the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 12-19 and 20-29 respectively.
then
Linking Words
 it grew to reach the highest point with 500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 with the
groups
Use synonyms
 whose
thwew
Correct your spelling
the
threw
age
Use synonyms
 between 30 and 39.
However
Linking Words
 the rates of the
groups
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 40-43 ,50-59,60-69 and 70
ullistrate
Correct your spelling
showed
 a
declined
Replace the word
declining
show examples
 trend in the
end
Use synonyms
 it reached 3500. The rate of women whose in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 2-5 was at almost 1300
milligrams
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
. It continued to
increased
Change the verb
increase
show examples
 to be nearly 2300
milligrams
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 for the
groups
Use synonyms
 whose in the
age
Use synonyms
 between 6-11.after that it rose
Correct your spelling
steadily
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 2900,3500 of the
groups
Use synonyms
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 12-19and 20-29
Correct your spelling
respectively
rwspectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Linking Words
then
Capitalize word
Then
show examples
 it grew to reach the highest point with around 3500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 with the
groups
Use synonyms
 whose there
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 between 30 and39.
while
Linking Words
 the rates of the
groups
Use synonyms
 with the
age
Use synonyms
 40-43,50-59,60,69 and 70 showed a declined trend
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
 to reached 2200

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, end, milligrams, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • salt intake
  • age groups
  • men
  • women
  • bar chart
  • trend
  • significant differences
  • consume
  • notable
  • variations
  • highest
  • lowest
  • implications
  • health
  • long-term effects
  • recommendations
  • demographics
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