IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph compares the ratio of obese people in several countries, namely: Japan, Finland, Australia, USA between 1980 and 2000.

The bar graph compares the ratio of obese people in several countries, namely: Japan, Finland, Australia, USA between 1980 and 2000.
The bar graph compares the ratio of obese people in several countries, namely: Japan, Finland, Australia, USA between 1980 and 2000. It is obvious that Japan had the lowest proportion of corpulent people in all years. Looking at Finland and Australia, a few
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Finnish and Australians were approximately the same in 1980.
Although
Linking Words
 the ratio of Australian people almost doubled Finland's in 2000. Focusing on the distribution of overweight adults in America
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the USA has the highest ratio in all 3 given years. the percentage rose 2 times from 15% in 1980 to 30% in 2000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "ratio" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: