Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

Certain

employers

Use synonyms

would

Add the particle

like to

show examples

contact their staff whenever needed, leading to an ongoing debate about whether it is generally beneficial or not.

While

Linking Words

some people may think it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

more upsides, I believe the downsides outweigh the upsides. Most importantly, even though

this

Linking Words

allows instant communication and command, it would

also

Linking Words

harms

Change the verb form

harm

show examples

staff’s

Use synonyms

mental well-being and their

overall

Linking Words

working

quality

Use synonyms

. One significant downside is it results in chronic detriments

Change preposition

show examples

staff’s

Use synonyms

mental wellness. People require

high

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

quality

Use synonyms

rest to reset themselves before they can travel

further

Linking Words

. In doing so, it is crucial to shield

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

from being in a state of unsettling at the time when they need to rest.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the fundamental work and

life

Correct your spelling

work-life

show examples

balance is key for

employer’s

Correct article usage

an employer’s

show examples

wellness.

However

Linking Words

, supervisors usually play the role who pressure workers for higher performance.

Hence

Linking Words

, constant contact

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

employers

Use synonyms

can deprive staff of the peace they need, leaving them in a state of unrest. After all, allowing

employers

Use synonyms

to remain in contact is tantamount to sacrificing worker’s right to peace of mind, and,

consequently

Linking Words

, their mental healthiness of mind. Meanwhile, the

employers

Use synonyms

won’t entrench

staff’s

Use synonyms

productivity and performance by contacting them at all times

neither

Correct word choice

either

show examples

While

Linking Words

contacting

Use synonyms

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

anytime immediately as a need

appear

Correct subject-verb agreement

appears

show examples

may seem convenient and efficient, it actually means requiring the

staffs

Use synonyms

proceed

Fix the infinitive

to proceed

show examples

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

work anywhere they may pick up the phone. Most likely, they will be picking up the phone in a place not suitable for work

such

Linking Words

Change preposition

as a

show examples

train station.

Hence

Linking Words

, the

quality

Use synonyms

of their output will

must

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

decline

due to

Linking Words

their lack of concentration or inevitable environmental interruption.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a sudden call may

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

turn out in vain, since the

Use synonyms

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

simply don’t have

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

data by their side for reference. In conclusion, even though contacting

Use synonyms

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

anytime

Replace the word

any time

show examples

may seem agile on the surface, it causes tremendous

harms

Fix the agreement mistake

harm

show examples

in the

mean time

Correct your spelling

meantime

show examples

. Particularly, it will not only

harm

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

staff’s

Use synonyms

mental wellness

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

their working

quality

Use synonyms

. Apparently, despite it may reduce the effort of communication and allow supervisors

handing

Change the verb form

to hand

show examples

down their commands more easily, the

overall

Linking Words

decline of the

staff’s

Use synonyms

mental health and working

quality

Use synonyms

still can not be offset.

Hence

Linking Words

, it has an

overall

Linking Words

negative impact.

tachanchiangThu Apr 10 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your thesis statement to clearly articulate your stance. You mention that the downsides outweigh the upsides, but expanding on why this is the case in the introduction can help set the framework for your argument.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas directly support your thesis. While you've provided several points, some could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration to illustrate your argument more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the linking words and phrases used to connect ideas. Using varied and appropriate transitional phrases will help improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Consider revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. For instance, phrases like 'to contact their staff whenever needed' can be clearer as 'to contact their staff whenever necessary.'

task achievement

You have a clear opinion on the topic and remain consistent in your argument against constant employer contact, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay structure is logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to specific points, which aids in the overall readability of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

365 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Constant connectivity
Workplace availability
Crisis management
Decision-making
Competitive edge
Prompt response
Flexibility
Autonomy
Remote work
Work-life balance
Stress
Burnout
Personal time
Discontent
Morale
Productivity
Proper delegation
Team trust
Employee well-being

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Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?