Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

Certain
employers
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would
like
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like to
show examples
contact their staff whenever needed, leading to an ongoing debate about whether it is generally beneficial or not.
While
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some people may think it
have
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has
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more upsides, I believe the downsides outweigh the upsides. Most importantly, even though
this
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allows instant communication and command, it would
also
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harms
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harm
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staff’s
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mental well-being and their
overall
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working
quality
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. One significant downside is it results in chronic detriments
on
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to
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staff’s
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mental wellness. People require
high
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high-quality
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quality
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rest to reset themselves before they can travel
further
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. In doing so, it is crucial to shield
employee
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employees
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from being in a state of unsettling at the time when they need to rest.
Therefore
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, the fundamental work and
life
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work-life
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balance is key for
employer’s
Correct article usage
an employer’s
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wellness.
However
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, supervisors usually play the role who pressure workers for higher performance.
Hence
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, constant contact
from
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with
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employers
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can deprive staff of the peace they need, leaving them in a state of unrest. After all, allowing
employers
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to remain in contact is tantamount to sacrificing worker’s right to peace of mind, and,
consequently
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, their mental healthiness of mind. Meanwhile, the
employers
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won’t entrench
staff’s
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productivity and performance by contacting them at all times
neither
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either
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.
While
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contacting
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staffs
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staff
show examples
anytime immediately as a need
appear
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appears
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may seem convenient and efficient, it actually means requiring the
staffs
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proceed
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to proceed
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their
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with their
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work anywhere they may pick up the phone. Most likely, they will be picking up the phone in a place not suitable for work
such
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a
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as a
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train station.
Hence
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, the
quality
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of their output will
must
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apply
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decline
due to
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their lack of concentration or inevitable environmental interruption.
Moreover
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, a sudden call may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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turn out in vain, since the
Use synonyms
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
simply don’t have
necessary
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the necessary
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data by their side for reference. In conclusion, even though contacting
Use synonyms
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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in
Change preposition
at
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anytime
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any time
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may seem agile on the surface, it causes tremendous
harms
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harm
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in the
mean time
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meantime
show examples
. Particularly, it will not only
harm
Verb problem
apply
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the
staff’s
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mental wellness
,
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apply
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but
also
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their working
quality
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. Apparently, despite it may reduce the effort of communication and allow supervisors
handing
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to hand
show examples
down their commands more easily, the
overall
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decline of the
staff’s
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mental health and working
quality
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still can not be offset.
Hence
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, it has an
overall
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negative impact.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement to clearly articulate your stance. You mention that the downsides outweigh the upsides, but expanding on why this is the case in the introduction can help set the framework for your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas directly support your thesis. While you've provided several points, some could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration to illustrate your argument more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the linking words and phrases used to connect ideas. Using varied and appropriate transitional phrases will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. For instance, phrases like 'to contact their staff whenever needed' can be clearer as 'to contact their staff whenever necessary.'
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and remain consistent in your argument against constant employer contact, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to specific points, which aids in the overall readability of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Constant connectivity
  • Workplace availability
  • Crisis management
  • Decision-making
  • Competitive edge
  • Prompt response
  • Flexibility
  • Autonomy
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Personal time
  • Discontent
  • Morale
  • Productivity
  • Proper delegation
  • Team trust
  • Employee well-being
What to do next:
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