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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graphs illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 to mobile phones and
land lines
Correct your spelling
landlines
show examples
 in four
countries
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 from 2005 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Uruguay has the highest
number
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 of mobile
phone
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subscriptions
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of UK fixed
phone
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 lines was the highest among the four
countries
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.
Also
Linking Words
, the
number
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fixed
Change preposition
of fixed
show examples
 telephone
subscriptions
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 remained steady in all
countries
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. Mobile
phone
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users
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 in Eritrea and the UK maintained
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a steady rate from 2005 to 2015. Meanwhile, India started at a very small
number
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 of mobile
phone
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users
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, around zero
users
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 per hundred people, but in 2008
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
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number
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased gradually to ultimately reach
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 90
subscriptions
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 per
hundrend
Correct your spelling
hundred
 people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in Uruguay the
number
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 of
subscriptions
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 started at less than 50 per
hundrend indivduals
Correct your spelling
hundred individuals
,
then
Linking Words
 it
climed
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climbed
claimed
steadly
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steadily
 to reach a peak of more than 150
Use synonyms
subscripers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 in 2013. With regards to fixed telephone
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subscripers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
, in all of the four
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countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 the figures remained steady throughout the period in question.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Eritrea and
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
land line
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landline
show examples
users
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 remained the lowest among the other
countries
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, with less than 10
Use synonyms
subscripers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 per hundred people.
However
Linking Words
, the UK
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subscripers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 dropped slightly from
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 60
users
Use synonyms
 to around 50 in 2015.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, subscriptions, countries, phone, users, subscripers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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