IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries today if people want to find work they have to move away from their friends and their families

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today in many countries people don't get a chance in their countries and
Correct your spelling
cities
citeis
Correct your spelling
cities
 that's why they need to
move
Use synonyms
 to another country leave their families and
friends
Use synonyms
there's
Change the verb form
there are
show examples
 many advantages to
Use synonyms
move
Wrong verb form
moving
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 to any country first
comuncatiton
Correct your spelling
communication
 with new people make ,new
friends
Use synonyms
 ,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 the
responspilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 themselves , expanding the circle of relationships, foucse
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their work and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life,
know
Verb problem
learning
show examples
 new information about the new place they
move
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to ,
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 themself in work beacuse they
move
Use synonyms
 away from family and their
friends
Use synonyms
 , when you be alone you will know what you want and know yourself , have more free time to read a books, do new sports , deveolpe your skills , and confidentt them self . the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
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 if they
move
Use synonyms
 away from their
friends
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 and their
famalies
Correct your spelling
families
 they
willl
Correct your spelling
will
 be alone
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
lot of time without their
friends
Use synonyms
 and their families and they will take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
. if they have any problem they must fix it alone no
one
Use synonyms
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them advice they must
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 their
descions beacuse
Correct your spelling
decisions because
this
Linking Words
 is
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
 no
one
Use synonyms
 will take the
responsapilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
decisons
Correct your spelling
decisions
. if they are sick or tired no
one
Use synonyms
 will be with them they must coo for
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. if they are sad no
one
Use synonyms
 with them , they will
effact
Correct your spelling
effect
affect
 with homesick , in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
take
Correct pronoun usage
who take
show examples
this
Linking Words
 step in their
lifes beacuse
Correct your spelling
lives because
this
Linking Words
 step
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
 the respnspilty,
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
, and foucse in their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific idea. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and illustrate your ideas better.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
content
You have made a good attempt to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of moving away.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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