IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe charity organization should only offer help to people of their own countries. Another claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both opinions and tell which side do you agree?

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some
people
Use synonyms
tthink
Correct your spelling
think
 that charity
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 should give support to humans of their own countries
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that they should offer help to
people
Use synonyms
 who are suffering wherever they are.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
tottally
Correct your spelling
totally
 agree with
helpping
Correct your spelling
helping
people
Use synonyms
 in need regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 location because there are
people
Use synonyms
 living far away from me and need disprate
aid
Use synonyms
 and it is not human to just think for your country men and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
.
offring
Correct your spelling
offering
show examples
 help ofbourd
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 difficult,
people
Use synonyms
 who advocate for help
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 own countries argue. it is hard to
trasfer
Correct your spelling
transfer
 any kind of
aid
Use synonyms
 or food from one side of the world to the other side. sometimes, it takes months just to get the
paper work
Correct your spelling
paperwork
show examples
 done and you have the approval from the
govrenment
Correct your spelling
government
.
for example
Linking Words
, after the war in Gaza, all
Arab want
Replace the word
Arabs wanted
show examples
 to send money and food there and it took 4 months to send the
shipmints
Correct your spelling
shipments
shipment
.
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, it doesn't matter where are live, these
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 should help you. yes, there are difficulties but we as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should get over
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and find our way to help or at least try.
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
vere
Correct your spelling
very
 good example is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
King Salaman ORG.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
 send
aid
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 more than 100 country and without
dely
Correct your spelling
delay
. the reason behind it is the Saudi Government. they push for
aid
Use synonyms
 like it is war and they try hard for it and
that is
Linking Words
 why
people
Use synonyms
 should do the same. in conclusion, it is hard to help
obourd
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 but we should try and push for it.

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task achievement
Improve your introduction by clearly stating both opinions before expressing your own stance. For example, mention that while some believe charity should focus on locals, others argue for global assistance for those in need.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance logical flow by using better linking words and phrases to connect ideas. For instance, use 'however', 'on the other hand', and 'moreover' appropriately to guide readers.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'tthink', 'tottally', 'helpping', 'disprate', 'offring', and 'obourd'. Writing clearly without errors will improve coherence and cohesion substantially.
task achievement
You clearly present a viewpoint supporting global aid, which is essential for a persuasive essay.
task achievement
You incorporate a relevant example with the King Salman Organization that illustrates your perspective effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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