IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it,

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
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 to inform you that
due to
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 certain circumstances for the coming six
months
Add a comma
months,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to work from our head office in the USA. I am going to be in America
becauce
Correct your spelling
because
 of the
chemothropy
Correct your spelling
chemotherapy
 of my loving aunt who
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 living with us
from
Change preposition
for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 thirty years. She is
mother
Add an article
a mother
the mother
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 figure to me. So,
i
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I
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 am moving to another country with my whole family for half
an
Change the article
a
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 year and want to continue my contribution
for
Change preposition
to
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 the organisation from the head office. I would
also
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 like to add that the part of
performance
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the performance
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 which
i
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I
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 have to deliver back here when I will not be present mostly will be done online
as well as
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 supervisor
Mr.
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Mr
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 Ramesh will take care
my
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of my
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 part of
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 and always keep you updated with the progress, It will be a great help if you allow me to work overseas and arrange
Change preposition
for me
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me
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 tickets and
traveling
Replace the word
travel
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expences form
Correct your spelling
expenses from
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 the company's vault. Looking
farward
Correct your spelling
forward
 to your affirmative response. Yours Faithfully Rajpreet sing

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task achievement
The letter explains the reason for wanting to work at the head office and mentions how work will be managed in your absence. However, it could benefit from providing more detail about your proposed contributions to the organization while away.
coherence and cohesion
Consider ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and improving paragraphing. Each paragraph should have a clear focus on a single idea, which will enhance the overall coherence of the letter.
coherence and cohesion
Minor language inaccuracies (e.g., spelling errors like 'becauce' and 'expences') affect professionalism. Proofreading your letter to correct such errors would improve your writing tone.
content
The personal reason for your request adds a nice touch and demonstrates a sense of commitment to your family and work.
content
The request for help in arranging travel and tickets shows initiative and consideration for logistical planning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • global operations
  • cross-functional
  • remote work
  • progress updates
  • logistical arrangements
  • cultural exchange
  • continuity plan
  • enhance my skillset
  • broaden my horizons
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