In many countries where there is high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
its
Correct your spelling
It is
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a dream of every person
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they achieve their dream job but there are so many nations where their dream never come true because of unemployment
by
Change preposition
For
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this
Linking Words
reason some students complete only their primary education
instead
Linking Words
of secondary education. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
notion whilst the unemployment rate is high in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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but
Correct word choice
apply
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their citizens
are educate
Change the verb form
are educated
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they can find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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in other countries.

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coherence
Your introduction could be clearer by restating the statement directly and providing your position more explicitly. Consider including a brief outline of your reasoning.
task achievement
Your main points are valid, but strive to expand them with further examples or evidence to enhance your argumentation. This will make your essay more convincing.
coherence
Ensure that you have a clear conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your position on the topic. This helps in reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
You clearly express your disagreement with the notion, which is a good start.
task achievement
You address the topic directly and stay relevant to the question, which is essential for a good response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • job prospects
  • critical thinking
  • entrepreneurship
  • self-employment
  • social inequalities
  • societal progress
  • personal development
  • civic awareness
  • self-esteem
  • workforce
  • investment
  • industries
  • fundamental right
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