IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.

The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.
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The chart below displays the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 who had jobs in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, Korea, Afghanistan and France from the years 1985 to 2005
Overall
Linking Words
, America and Korea's
women
Use synonyms
 who had jobs significantly increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
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over the entire time period. Afghanistan's
women
Use synonyms
 going to work decreased dramatically and France's remained relatively stable. The proportion of
women
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 who had jobs in The United States had the highest female workforce in 1985 with just over 40% and increased consistently every year
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2000 and
then
Linking Words
 decreased by just below 60%. Korea had fewer females who were employed
in
Change preposition
at
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start
Add an article
the start
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 of the period, but there was a steady increase in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the women
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women
Change noun form
women's
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 workforce
just
Change preposition
by just
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 over 30% over the next 15 years.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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