IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some college pupils believe that it is beneficial to learn about
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are not their major
while
Linking Words
 others say that focusing only on their majors will lead them to more advantages
such
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 as getting a well-paid job in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future. Even though it is important to give all their efforts to one specific subject, I believe that experiencing a variety of
subjects
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 that they are interested in will enrich their future
career
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. Creative
subjects
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such
Linking Words
 as arts and music might stimulate a sense of creativity and can prompt them to think with uniqueness,
thus
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 affecting their thinking ways and their resourcefulness. When they apply for jobs as much as possible and
ended
Wrong verb form
end
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 up failing to get any, it is usually difficult for younger people to recover mentally and give a second try.
However
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, experiencing different kinds of studies can provide them with more opportunities in their careers, which will lead them to be able to retry in a different profession.
On the other hand
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, indeed, giving all the attention to one subject will enable the young to attain their ideal goals easily in a short period and to become an expert in the field.
However
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, when they are facing some unexpected challenges
such
Linking Words
 as changing jobs because they realize that they are not suitable for the job anymore and want to shift their
career
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, without
an
Correct article usage
apply
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experience
of
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in
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 different types of aspects, it may become an ordeal to try to build a
career
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 in a disparate realm. In conclusion, it is argued that university students should study different
subjects
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 as a minor. In my opinion,
although
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 it will make it easier for them to achieve what they want to do in their
career
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 by focusing on studying one specific subject, the opportunity
of learning
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to learn
show examples
 other
subjects
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 as a minor will broaden their choices in terms of their future
career
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction more engaging by perhaps rephrasing the prompt or providing a personal anecdote related to the topic. This can draw readers in and provide context for your argument.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, make sure each point is supported with clear examples. Although you mention the benefits of studying different subjects, specific examples or scenarios could strengthen your argument further.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Using more linking phrases (e.g., ‘Moreover’, ‘In addition’) can enhance the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, avoid repeating phrases from earlier sections. Instead, try to paraphrase your main points succinctly to reinforce your argument while adding a final thought.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both perspectives and presents a clear opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally well-organized with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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