IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the government's decision to close the land borders in order to boost local production is a great idea. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this decision? What alternative decisions could have been used to boost local production?

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Authorities
Change noun form
Authorities'
Authority's
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 decisions play a
siginificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role
to
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in
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 the development of the country. Some individuals say that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should stop import and export production to improve national manufacturing. It has various merits and demerits and ways to gain domestic production that will
discuss
Wrong verb form
be discussed
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 in
this
Linking Words
 essay in the upcoming paragraphs. First of all,
Correct article usage
the
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administration can develop their domestic area by buying and selling products locally
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
this
Linking Words
 idea can highly increase the demand
of
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for
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 local products and job
opporunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for domestic residents. For explanation, people have numerous needs including clothes, food, electric gadgets, and so on. People will get
encourage
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encouraged
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 to open new
business
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businesses
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 to fulfill the needs of customers which will gain more job
opporunities
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opportunities
.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the infrastructure of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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 can get improved after
buildling
Correct your spelling
building
 new stores, offices, and other businesses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opening land
borders
Use synonyms
 will contribute to the local economy in different ways
such
Linking Words
 as
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
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tourists
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with tourists
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 and
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 international relationships by importing and exporting services.
For example
Linking Words
, tourists visit different
nation
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nations
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 to explore the interesting places that will help to boost
economy
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the economy
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.
Moreover
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,
government
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the government
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 can gain
international
Correct article usage
an international
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 network by dealing with international companies. To exemplify, India and Canada
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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good
Correct article usage
a good
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 business relationship
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 many Indian tourists visit Canada for numerous purposes
such
Linking Words
 as study, work, vacation, and business. In conclusion,
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
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 decision to close land
borders
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 equal pros and cons
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
closing
borders
Use synonyms
 can enhance local
developement
Correct your spelling
development
while
Linking Words
 opening land
borders
Use synonyms
 can develop international connections.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points made in your introduction are thoroughly addressed in your essay. Your introduction mentions 'ways to gain domestic production,' but your paragraphs primarily focus on the pros and cons of closing borders. Structure your argument more clearly to support this statement.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your logical structure by clearly separating the advantages and disadvantages into distinct paragraphs. This can help enhance overall readability and coherence in your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the overall fluency of your writing. For example, instead of 'this idea can highly increase...' you could write 'this approach is likely to significantly boost...'.
task achievement
Your essay presents some relevant points about the impact of closing borders on local manufacturing and the economy, showing your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide examples to support your arguments, which is a good practice in essay writing.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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