IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
years
Use synonyms
 ago ,
women
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 no chance to
involved
Add a missing verb
be involved
show examples
 with communities ,and there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a lot of
restiractions
Correct your spelling
restrictions
distractions
restorations
 over the
last
Linking Words
 decades .
Currantly
Correct your spelling
Currently
, The countries can not
assumed
Change the form of the verb
assume
show examples
 that they are dealing with both genders equally. I am
dis agree
Correct your spelling
disagree
show examples
 that governments have achieved gender
equaliy
Correct your spelling
equality
 but they deal with them by
justase
Correct your spelling
justice
 which is
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
diffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
. Many
years
Use synonyms
 ago,
women
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 no right to share their opinions
publicy
Correct your spelling
publicly
,
For instance
Linking Words
 , they could not vote in elections or
partcipated
Correct your spelling
participated
participate
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 social
occacions
Correct your spelling
occasions
.
furthermore
Linking Words
 , it was impossible for any female to work especially for
governments
Change the noun form
government
show examples
 positions .Mostly every
men
Change to a singular noun
man
show examples
 has prevented their
wife's
Change noun form
wife
show examples
 from working except working as a homemade. Because of many
years
Use synonyms
 of
ristricts
Correct your spelling
restrictions
,many
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 organisations
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 talking about
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 rights and asking for
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 freedom ,In Saudi Arabia s70.
women
Use synonyms
starded
Correct your spelling
started
 having education
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 school and before
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it was not allowed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 to have equal education like men
.because
Correct your spelling
Because
that
Change preposition
of that
show examples
 , we
had lose
Wrong verb form
lost
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 having good brains because of ignorance. In conclusion ,I think many
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
years
Use synonyms
 ago
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies and communities
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 dealing fair with
women
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 essential part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society today but, we can not deal with both
gendars
Correct your spelling
genders
 equally as much as we can deal with in justace which is more
importante
Correct your spelling
important
.

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grammar
Please ensure to focus on correct verb forms and subject-verb agreement. For example, "women has no chance" should be corrected to "women had no chance." Also, "assumed" should be phrased as "cannot assume."
cohesion
Try to avoid repetition in language. Instead of repeatedly using phrases like "many years ago," find synonyms or restructure your sentences to maintain interest (e.g., "In the past, individuals... ").
task achievement
Support your arguments using more varied and clearly articulated examples. You mention women in Saudi Arabia but could expand this with more specifics on how these changes have impacted society. Additionally, clarify what is meant by "justase" as this is not a recognized word in English.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic by discussing the historical context and the current situation of women's rights, which is essential for the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
What to do next:
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