IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares a
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 percentage of average weekly spending in
people
Use synonyms
’s weekly
income
Use synonyms
 by families in 1968 and 2018.
It’s
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 spending on food and housing
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 most in the two years. In 1968,
people
Use synonyms
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to spend 35% weekly
income
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, but in 2018, the number
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to about 17%. Between
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1968 and 2018,
people
Use synonyms
 pay for household goods
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same number
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 8%.
The leisure
Correct article usage
Leisure
show examples
 is the biggest consumption part of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in 2018,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a week, they need to pay over 20%
income
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Change the word
their
show examples
 family. It’s higher than 1968 about 10%. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, in 1968,
people
Use synonyms
 only
cost
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 10%
income
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing, at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 time, they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to pay
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same number
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 clothing and footwear, they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 the second largest part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
weekly
Correct pronoun usage
their weekly
show examples
 spending.
However
Linking Words
, in 2018,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothing and footwear
have been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not so important,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 percentage of it
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 5%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the transport cost
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 pronouncedly. In 1968, they
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 about 8%
income
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week, but in 2018, a family
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to pay 14% for it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
What to do next:
Look at other essays: