IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently organized a party for your company at a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter • describe the party and how it went • explain why you were pleased with the hotel’s service • suggest some improvements that the hotel could make

Dear Sir/Madam I hope you doing well, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to praise your
hotel
Use synonyms
's
service
Use synonyms
 management skills in our
party
Use synonyms
 .
Firstly
Linking Words
, I appreciate your staff
service
Use synonyms
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large scale they made
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
things easier on
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
party
Add an article
the party
show examples
. They organised everything appropriately and guided me well with all the venue's rules and safety management.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Me and my office colleagues
we all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were very impressed with your
hotel
Use synonyms
's
service
Use synonyms
 in all formats where its food or music system ,
party
Use synonyms
 launch everything is impressive . Mainly, your greeting style my partners are praising my choice for making a booking with your
hotel
Use synonyms
 .
Also
Linking Words
, I have some suggestions from my side
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the point of view
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a respective customer . I feel a little
fadeness
Correct your spelling
fakeness
 in your
hotel
Use synonyms
's
party
Use synonyms
 area lighting . In my view, you can create some interesting lighting
structure
Fix the agreement mistake
structures
show examples
 which will be going to enhance
Use synonyms
party 's
Correct article usage
the party 's
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 experience for all visitors. Thank you for your
service
Use synonyms
 Yours faithfully Guri

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coherence and cohesion
Your letter could benefit from clearer organization. Make sure to have distinct paragraphs for each main idea, such as one for describing the party, another for expressing satisfaction with the service, and a final one for suggestions.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure to improve the flow of your writing. This can help keep the reader engaged and create a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
While your letter is polite, aim for a more formal tone in some areas. For example, consider rephrasing 'doing well' to 'are doing well.'
task achievement
You could expand on the specifics of what impressed you about the service, rather than mentioning it in broad terms, to enhance the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Your letter conveys appreciation for the hotel staff, which adds a positive tone to your message.
task achievement
You've identified specific areas for improvement, indicating that you are thoughtful about your experience as a customer.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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