IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You said: China's growth is predicted to peak at 2030 and will slowly decline after to just under 1.4 billion in 2050. From 2030 to 2040, Chinas populous stays relatively stable and only decreasing by an insignificant amount. Unlike China, India's population will continue to grow until the end of the period. In 2050, India is said to have a population nearing 1.6 billion.

The Line chart illustrates the number of people in
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 from 2000 till today and predicts the increase till 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
India
Use synonyms
 and
China
Use synonyms
 have experienced
population
Use synonyms
 growth throughout the years, with
India
Use synonyms
 projected to surpass
China
Use synonyms
 after 2030.
China
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 was significantly greater than
Indias
Fix the agreement mistake
India
show examples
 in 2000, with a striking difference of approximately 300,
while
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 gradually increased from an
estimate
Replace the word
estimated
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1,250 to just over 1,400,
India
Use synonyms
 experienced a much larger increase in its inhabitants, and by 2030, the number of people living in
India
Use synonyms
 is equal to
China
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
's growth is predicted to peak in 2030 and will slowly decline
thereafter
Linking Words
, reaching just under 1,400 by 2050. From 2030 to 2040,
Chinas
Change noun form
China's
show examples
 populace stays relatively stable and only
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
 slightly.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 will continue to grow until the end of the period, and by 2050, it is projected to be close to 1,600

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all numerical data is clearly presented with appropriate punctuation, such as placing commas in larger numbers for clarity (e.g., 1,400 instead of 1400).
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize the key points more clearly to reinforce your findings and provide a definitive end to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistent noun usage (e.g., either 'China's populace' or 'China's population' but avoid switching between them without reason).
task achievement
The essay has a clear overall trend and comparison between the populations of China and India, which provides a good framework for understanding the data.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context for the essay, and the main points are generally supported by the data provided in the line chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: