IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today credit cards are easy to get in many countries, but some people who use them struggle to pay their debt. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today,
credits
Change the noun form
credit
show examples
cards
Use synonyms
 are widely available to pay their
debts
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,
however
Linking Words
, some groups of
people
Use synonyms
 have difficulties. The principal advantage is to get a wide range of
rewards
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 and
cashback
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 after paying through a card, which outweighs the main disadvantage of the stack of transaction
fees
Use synonyms
. The primary benefit of paying dues via
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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 is getting
rewards
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 and
cashback
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 online. Most
people
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 pay
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
almost all
fees
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 and
debts
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 with the help of
cards
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, which can lead to
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
cashback
Use synonyms
 and these
cashback
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rewards
Use synonyms
 will be added to their personal
bank
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 accounts, even long-term users can get special
rewards
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 or discounts.
For example
Linking Words
,
Birbank
Change noun form
Birbank's
show examples
bank
Use synonyms
 system always offers discounts and
cashback
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 to their users and even
Use synonyms
bank
Correct article usage
the bank
show examples
 gives a chance to them
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
choose 2 places
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 more
cashback
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 offers from these chosen places.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 can save these small incomes for
further
Linking Words
 use. Covering the
debts
Use synonyms
 via
credit
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 card can lead to some worrying issues. One of the drawbacks of these is the transaction
fees
Use synonyms
 through these
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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. Some
fees
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 through transactions between some specific
cards
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 may costly than others, which can be more than 2 dollars.
For example
Linking Words
, When
people
Use synonyms
 need to pay
debts
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 to another country’s
cards
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 or accounts
such
Linking Words
 as Stripe or Paypal,
this
Linking Words
 will be highly expensive.
Consequently
Linking Words
, much more money will go
due to
Linking Words
 these
bank
Use synonyms
 charges, which affects badly to users’ financial status. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 online paying via
credit
Use synonyms
cards
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 can result in a wide range of undesired transaction
fees
Use synonyms
, it greatly offers beneficial
rewards
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,
cashback
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 and special discounts, which improves
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
show examples
 of
people
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 as well.
Hence
Linking Words
, the positive effects of repaying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debts
Use synonyms
 via
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 to make purchases definitely exceed the drawbacks.

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task achievement
The introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. This will help the reader follow your argument more clearly.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages in the body paragraphs. The discussion currently leans more towards advantages without fully addressing potential counterarguments.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Birbank's cashback offers, strengthens the argument and makes it more relatable.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the topic, establishing a position that is articulated throughout the text.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • credit history
  • financial flexibility
  • emergencies
  • cashback
  • travel points
  • discounts
  • budget management
  • interest rates
  • fees
  • debt
  • credit scores
  • loans
  • mortgages
  • impulsive spending
  • financial difficulties
  • penalties
  • financial strain
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