IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, - describe the training course you want to do - explain what the company could do to help you - say how the course will be useful for your job Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Lukáš Tomiska and I am writing to you regarding a training
course
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 that I came across in the local newspaper. I am very interested in
this
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course
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. The
course
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 I want to attend is called “How to Write a Formal Letter in Academic English”.
This
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course
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 focuses on writing letters between a customer and the government. The training lasts only 2 months, but it is only a part-time
course
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, so it will not take up my vacation. The
course
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 is located 15 km from our local office, so I would like to ask if you could provide me with a fuel card for petrol, as the school is in the opposite direction from my home.
This
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 will help me a lot as my wife and I are expecting a baby.
This
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 will save us as much money as possible as
this
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 will be our first child.
However
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,
this
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 particular
course
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 will help me improve in writing formal letters to customers who have businesses in Australia,
as well as
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 to the Australia Council. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as you read my email. Best regards xxxxx xxxxx

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task achievement
Consider providing more details about why this training course is particularly relevant to your job and how it aligns with the company's goals.
coherence
To enhance logical flow, you might want to explicitly link each paragraph to the preceding one, creating a more seamless narrative.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single idea clearly to improve readability and focus. For example, you might separate the request for the fuel card into its own paragraph.
positivity
The letter has a clear structure and maintains a polite and professional tone throughout.
positivity
You effectively express your personal circumstances, which helps to create a connection with your manager.
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