IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A resturant near your house is making a lot of noise. You called the manger but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: *Introduce yourself *Describe the problems you are facing because of this *suggest solutions

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my concern regarding the issue which we
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 facing
from
Change preposition
for
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two months. Let me introduce myself to you, My name is Sam and I am residing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Hurontrio
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 right
to
Rephrase
next to
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 your restaurant. I have been living in
this
Linking Words
 area
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 five years. I have visited your place several times and have no complaints about food and environment. I am facing
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
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from
Change preposition
with
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 loud music which
is kepp
Verb problem
keeps
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 going on
24
Change preposition
for 24
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 hours.  In detail,
noise
Add an article
the noise
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 of music had
distrurbed
Correct your spelling
disturbed
 my whole schedule. Because I am a health care student and need to study for five to six hours in a day
and
Correct word choice
apply
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I need to concentrate on my exams.
However
Linking Words
, it is not possible to study
in
Change preposition
apply
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noise. For some point it was bearable but now I have exams within
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 weeks.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I have tried to call on your manager but it wasn't helpful.
Apat
Correct your spelling
Apart
 from
this
Linking Words
, I understand that
for attracting
Change preposition
to attract
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 customers you are keeping music on high volume. I would like to recommend you to put volume on low for some hours
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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. Hope you will understand my concern. Yours Faithfully, Sam

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task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer context for your complaint. It’s good to start with a brief statement about the noise issue before introducing yourself.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea to enhance clarity. For example, the issues faced due to noise and suggested solutions could be more distinct.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar; words like 'kepp' should be spelled correctly as 'keep' and 'Apat' should be 'Apart'. Even minor errors should be minimized.
task achievement
You clearly express your concerns about the noise and its impact on your studies, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
Your tone is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
The closing is courteous, which leaves a positive impression on the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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