IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that factories should provide equal pay for all of their
employees
Use synonyms
 to promote a respectful atmosphere in the workplace. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, it would directly lead to a lack of
employee’s
Change noun form
employee
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 motivation and
withdraw
Replace the word
withdrawal
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 from new positions.
Initially
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, if a company offers the exact same wage to all
employees
Use synonyms
 of performance ,it can significantly reduce stimulation.
For instance
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, when salaries are not connected with the quality of work and hours of schedule, individuals withdraw to enhance their skills or boost their
productivity
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.A case is that highly skilled professionals may feel undervalued,
as a result
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,
productivity
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 may decline, and it ultimately affects the
overall
Linking Words
 efficiency of the work environment.
Secondly
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,
employees
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 perform diverse
certain
Correct word choice
apply
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functions and require
the
Correct article usage
a
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 level of responsibility.
While
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 HR managers
specialists
Correct word choice
and specialists
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 spend significant time and resources with advanced qualifications, at the same time,
such
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 as receptionists usually require minimal experience and responsibilities. Paying an equal amount of wages to individuals disregards the value of their performance and causes injustice in the workplace.
For example
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,
due to
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this
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 approach, a large number of
highly-skilled
Correct your spelling
highly skilled
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employees
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 will tend to leave the organization.
Additionally
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, paying
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
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 same wage may cause conflicts and misunderstandings among the workers.
Thus
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,
this
Linking Words
 attitude
subject
Add a missing verb
is subject
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 to
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
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 and
productivity
Use synonyms
 of group projects in the workplace. In conclusion,
fair
Replace the word
fairness
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 is an undeniable matter for fostering a productive and motivated workforce.
By linking
Change preposition
Linking
show examples
 salaries with
employees
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’ functions, responsibilities and skills can inspire to alter individuals’ performance and
productivity
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear opinion, but it could be strengthened by briefly summarizing the reasons for your disagreement. This would provide a clearer roadmap for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence to improve clarity and flow.
task achievement
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your arguments, such as replacing 'exact same wage' with 'uniform salary' or 'equitable compensation.'
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and detailed, which will provide stronger support for your points.
task achievement
Your position is clearly stated in the introduction and consistently maintained throughout the essay, which reflects your strong stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide reasons for your viewpoint, showing critical thinking and an understanding of the implications of equal pay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with separate paragraphs for different ideas, which helps in organizing your thoughts.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmony
  • cohesion
  • financial incentive
  • productivity
  • equity
  • organizational culture
  • highly skilled professionals
  • innovation and competitiveness
  • redistribution of tasks
  • job satisfaction
  • meritocracy
  • contributions and achievements
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