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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about energy consumption in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about energy consumption in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the rates of energy consumption by five types of fuel in the United States since 1980, with projections until 2030
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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based on a 2008 report.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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petrol and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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oil have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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scored the highest numbers over the years and the projections believe that their use will increase more in the future.
While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nuclear,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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solar and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hydropower are the least used types and the report projects that they will see a slight increase. In 1980,
the
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apply
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petrol and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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oil
used
Add a missing verb
were used
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 by 35
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they saw waving for 3 years but by 1995, the
units
Use synonyms
 have been
increasly
Correct your spelling
increased
rose
Change the verb form
rosing
rosed
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 until now and their use will rise by 2030
according to
Linking Words
 the report. Followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal which was used about 16
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 but it saw sequence increases until 2025
therefore
Linking Words
, its consumption is approximately 30
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 now.  From 1980 to 2015, the natural gas consumption kept changing after that, it stayed stable until now and it might be stable by 2030. Nuclear, wind and hydropower are used by about only 4
quadrillion
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
. Over the years, nuclear and wind saw a simple increase which they became almost 5 now
while
Linking Words
 hydropower decreased more.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quadrillion, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy consumption
  • trends
  • marked increase
  • dominant source
  • modest increase
  • projections
  • renewable energy
  • nuclear energy
  • noticeable decline
  • span
  • petroleum
  • natural gas
  • coal
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