IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, people many no longer be able to pay for things in shops using card all payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this well happen in one day Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In today's world ,technology is taking over in every sector and
digitial
Correct your spelling
digital
 payment methods are one of the burning topics being discussed
in
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apply
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between
people
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. It has some benefits but
still
Add a comma
still,
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 there are many folks who prefer
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of cash over
cards
Use synonyms
. In my notion, it is nearly impossible to make it happen in a single day and
also
Linking Words
 all mankind will not happily accept it. Let's try to understand
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
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details
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detail
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 in the next paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
cards
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 and mobile devices are
more easy
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easier
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 to carry without any extra burden in pockets and
additionaly
Correct your spelling
additionally
additional
 with digital payment resources it is very convenient to keep
the
Correct article usage
a
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 record of
money
Use synonyms
 without the stress of counting cash.
Current
Add an article
The current
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 generation is following the trend of online shopping, which is possible by online transfer of
money
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. In some youngsters and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
, it is
symbol
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a symbol
the symbol
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 of status to carry
cards
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 in
cell
Correct pronoun usage
their cell
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 and that's how they can flaunt their expensive mobiles and fancy guard covers on cash counters.
Secondly
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,
undoubtfully
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undoubtedly
show examples
Cards
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 are
their
Replace the word
there
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 to make
paying
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the paying
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 experience more convenient but there are
also
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 some cons
of
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apply
show examples
it
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apply
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which are making
people
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 hesitate to use
of
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apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Everyone is not so good with technology
and
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apply
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especially
old
Correct article usage
the old
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 generation. They are having
hard
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a hard
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 time with the use of electronic devices and
cards
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,
also
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 there are
a
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apply
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plenty of aged
vicitims
Correct your spelling
victims
 of online theft. Some individuals
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that Governments are keeping track of their
money
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 and they are not happy about it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, banks are charging a lot of
money
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 after exceeding the number of transactions per month. Mobile devices can something
easiest
Correct article usage
the easiest
show examples
 thing to
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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 and
carying
Correct your spelling
carrying
 all your important data including your bank
cards
Use synonyms
 is not a good idea for some
people
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. Especially when hacking and unlocking phones is so common. In conclusion, we have discussed the merits and demerits of usage of
cards
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 over
money
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 in hands and we explored the reasons why some
people
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 will like to stick with
old school
Add a hyphen
old-school
show examples
 payment methods. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
cards
Use synonyms
 are
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need a certain amount of time and more security to implement
in
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for
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
. It will take some time for all human beings to adapt
Linking Words
this
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to this
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 new technology.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea linked by cohesive devices.
task achievement
Clarify points with more examples and develop your ideas further to support your arguments.
language accuracy
Correct spelling errors and grammatical inaccuracies to enhance overall clarity.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view of the topic, addressing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the context well and presents your viewpoint clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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