IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show band information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph provides information about the association between age and
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK
last
Linking Words
 year,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart illustrates the types of
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK in the same year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the most engaged age with
crime
Use synonyms
 is the age
20
Change preposition
of 20
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
, individuals who are 16
years
Use synonyms
 and 24
years
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 recorded high levels of
crime
Use synonyms
. The most common type was violent
crime
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
type was public order
crime
Use synonyms
. Children who are less than 12
years
Use synonyms
did
Correct word choice
old did
show examples
 not have any criminal records;
however
Linking Words
, those who are 12
years
Use synonyms
accounted
Correct word choice
old accounted
show examples
 for nearly 5000
crimes
Use synonyms
. The rate
noteably
Correct your spelling
notably
noticeably
 surged to 70000
crimes
Use synonyms
 for teenagers who are 16
years
Use synonyms
. The
crimes
Use synonyms
 portion peaked among adults
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 2 decades but
then
Linking Words
 it witnessed a marked fall throughout the next stages between 28
years
Use synonyms
 and 60
years
Use synonyms
 , since it remained relatively stable, ranging
around
Change preposition
between around
show examples
 10000 and 2000
crimes
Use synonyms
. As it is evident from the pie, violence-related
crimes
Use synonyms
 are the most
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 illegal actions, comprising roughly 45% of the total. Meanwhile, theft and drug selling accounted for similar portions, 23% and 22%, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, public order
crime
Use synonyms
 was the least significant type
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, as it represented nearly one-tenth of the total
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
crimes
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, years, crimes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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