Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, the education system has changed tremendously. Some believe that students are more keen on learning extra
subjects
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,
while
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others think that attention to studying main
subjects
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is more important to attain a qualification. Both views will be discussed, and I agree with the latter.
To begin
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with, learning extra
subjects
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ensures more knowledge for individuals.
This
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is because, with an additional language, people can access better future opportunities
such
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as getting jobs in foreign countries and making friends abroad.
Furthermore
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,
this
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enhances job prospects and professional growth on an international stage when one knows the local language.
For example
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, The Tribune (2024) states that 80% of international students at New York University were able to speak Japanese as a second language.
On the other hand
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, focusing on
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects
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and attaining a
degree
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is
also
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important.
This
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is because having a qualification helps streamline the field of work for an individual.
Additionally
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, these degrees provide opportunities for more stable careers.
In contrast
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, individuals without a bachelor's
degree
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are less likely to succeed in competitive exams.
For instance
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, The Times (2023) reported that 60% of people without a bachelor's
degree
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are being paid less than the minimum wage. In conclusion, studying additional
subjects
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can offer better opportunities in terms of jobs and growth, especially at the global level.
However
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, focusing on
main
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the main
show examples
subjects
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to attain a
degree
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helps streamline one’s career path and provides job stability, which may be lost in the absence of formal qualifications.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. However, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs for each view. To improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
The examples you provided are relevant but could be more detailed to strengthen your arguments. Including more context about the examples would enhance your specific references.
Content
Your argument for the importance of main subjects is well-articulated and supported with relevant examples.
Content
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reflects on the importance of both views, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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