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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

20 May 2025, The graphs give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

20 May 2025, The graphs give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graphs depict the proportion of people who owned computers throughout the
years
Use synonyms
 2002-2010,
as well as
Linking Words
 by their level of education in 2002 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a gradual
increase
Use synonyms
 in
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 over the
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 was directly proportional to the level of education, with higher levels corresponding
higher
Change preposition
to higher
show examples
ownership
Use synonyms
 percentages In 2000, about 50% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a
computer
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 number grew modestly
throughout
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
This
Linking Words
 number
increase
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
from around
show examples
 5% to 10%
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 two
years
Use synonyms
, reaching nearly 80% in the final year. As for
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 by education level,
although
Linking Words
 postgraduate qualification recorded the highest number, the
increase
Use synonyms
 rate became the smallest at 15 % from 80% in 2002 to 95% in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
computer
Use synonyms
 owners with no high school diploma accounted
15
Change preposition
for 15
show examples
% and 40%, making them the lowest proportion among all categories in these
years
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, high school
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and dropouts college share
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 rate
increase
Use synonyms
 at 30%, from 35% and 55% to 65% and 85%, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, increase, computer, ownership with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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