Computers have made it possible for office workers to work remotely instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

With
development
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the development
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of technology,every sector is updating including
educational
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education
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,transportation and many more. With
this
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modernization, companies are having
approach
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an approach
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to work
remotlely
Correct your spelling
remotely
rather than attending
officies
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offices
on daily basis. In my opinion, working digitally is a positive development and reasons for my belief will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. There are numerous benefits of working online. First and foremost, it will increase the opportunities for people across the Globe. As individuals can work from any corner of the world for any company, so
this
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gives chance to people to work for foreign organisations as well.
This
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can
also
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accelerate the chance of earning good money.
Secondly
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, it will save
cost
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the cost
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of transportation. As they will not use any vehicle to go to
office
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the office
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which can
also
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preserve the environment from pollution and traffics on roads.
For example
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, in Japan, 85% of people are working remotely
due to
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which a significant decrease in traffic and pollution has been noticed in
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last
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the last
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two years. Online jobs are not only fruitful for workers but
also
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help employers to save
huge
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a huge
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amount
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amounts
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of money
interms
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in terms
of
cost
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the cost
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of infrastructure. As there is no need to make offices for employees if they are working from home.
This
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in
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apply
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result can help anyone to make
organisation
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an organisation
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without their office.
To
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For
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instance, one
buisnessman
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businessman
in Canada
,
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apply
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is running a small-scale multinational company of 100 workers without any main office as he invested in making relations with other companies rather than opening new buildings.
To conclude
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, remote jobs are advantageous to both
employee
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employees
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and employers as
it
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they
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saves
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save
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their time and cost respectively.
According to
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me, it is a positive development that
help
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helps
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the world in various ways.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction presents your opinion, but it could be clearer. Try giving a brief overview of your main points in the introduction.
grammar
Make sure to use a consistent tense throughout your essay. Sometimes you switched from past to present.
task response
Your paragraphs are a bit short. Try to elaborate more on your points to develop them further. This will improve your support for those main points.
grammar
Check your spelling. There are several spelling mistakes, such as 'remotely' instead of 'remotely' and 'businessman' instead of 'buisnessman'.
task achievement
You have provided some good examples, such as the situation in Japan and the businessman in Canada.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and stance on the topic which you maintained throughout your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work remotely
  • flexible schedule
  • work-life balance
  • happier employees
  • save money
  • reduce costs
  • office supplies
  • higher productivity
  • wider talent pool
  • skilled workers
  • feelings of isolation
  • distractions
  • effective communication
  • time management
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