IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The line graph shows the birth rate, population growth rate and death rate from 1940 until 2020 in Scotland. The three different veriables are measured in percentages

The line graph shows the birth rate, population growth rate and death rate from 1940 until 2020 in Scotland. The three different veriables are measured in percentages
The line graph
Correct your spelling
below
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bellow
Correct your spelling
below
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 demonstrates the birth
rate
Use synonyms
, population growth and percentages of deaths between 1940 and 2020 in Scotland
Overall
Linking Words
 , the amount of the birth and death
rate
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased dramatically throughout the given period The birth
rate
Use synonyms
were fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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 between 1940 and 1955 even though it dramatically decreased
furthermore
Linking Words
 death rates declined between 1940 and 1955
in addition
Linking Words
 it
was fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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 tell 2020 The population growth
rate
Use synonyms
 decreased from 1940 to 1945 and
then
Linking Words
 it increased sharply after that it was increased in general

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • population growth rate
  • percentage
  • fluctuation
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • stabilize
  • demographic
  • interrelate
  • historical events
  • social policies
  • economic conditions
  • healthcare advancements
  • variable
  • measured
  • decade
  • significant
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